The Security Blanket

Loveys (Security Blankets) and what it's all about Please refer all ** marks to Disclosure statement at the bottom of my post, also feel free to visit my Disclosure Page page on the bar on the right hand side of my blog. Links may be included in this post. Summary: Below I have described my experiences with my kiddo's lovey and what I do to save my sanity once all goes wrong with it. To skip to the autism related topic, scroll down to "If your kiddo has a lovey, or you would like to know what I do with our nonnies, see below". (this can be used for kiddos without autism also) The story of "nonnie" As I have mentioned in a previous post, both my kiddos have a "nonnie" or "nonn" for short, as a security blanket. I refer to security blankets as "lovies" as I feel labeling them that sounds a bit more cuddly then 'security blanket'.  Carter's is a white pillowcase, and Maddex's is a plush blanket. (he actually has 4 of these, all different patterns)  Carter has gone through many nonnies. His first one was a mini baby blanket with a cute little elephant attached to the top. It was only about 6 inches long and perfect for my new little bundle of joy. Once he was a year and a few months, he took to a fitted crib sheet one day upon waking up. I did find this strange - why a fitted sheet? It was **Winnie the Pooh characters, and we had this sheet for a while, so after a few washes with fabric softener it became less scratchy and more soft. (That's what fabric softener is for, right?) I found this to be a pretty big lovey, and it was at this time he started to call it "nonnie". One day, a few months later, (after he started walking) he stepped on his beloved nonnie and it was torn almost in half. I was concerned as I am sure most parents would be, that he would trip and hurt himself if I left it as is; Carter watched with wide eyes as I cut the nonnie in half. I am not sure (as he was not talking at this point) if he really cared that his nonnie was now different or not. As then I had two of them, my mother gave me the idea to hide one and switch them out. (I have mentioned why below in the next section) After 4 years, the nonnies became really ratty, and even with constant washing, they smelled pretty bad. Carter didn't mind, he loved his nonnie even though it was pretty gross looking at this point. I tried to ween him off his lovey once he turned 4 and a half, but, to no avail, I was not getting that lovey out of his hands any time soon. I decided to snatch it up, very carefully, when he was sleeping a few nights later. I still have it to this day, (its in a sealed bag to ward off the smell) and will keep it as a memory from his childhood. My mother still has mine! Carter was very upset with me the next morning; well what should I expect, right? He had a few rough days that week, and then the next week, he took to a new nonnie. I thought it was pretty weird - a yellow pillowcase with a satin stitch on one side. This was a few years old, I am not sure where it even came from - could have been a rummage sale or something. I was folding laundry and putting away the linens when I noticed him hugging this pillowcase. He stuck with that one for over a year; I eventually had to throw it away as he threw it out the car window and it then had tire tracks all over it. (once we finally found it after hours of backtracking our commute to run errands) I will make a post in the future on safe-proofing the car. This time, I reached out to my mother to see if she had any ideas - I definitely did not want my kiddo carrying around another fitted sheet, or a pillowcase with a special design that we could not get another. She went to a department store and returned with a set of two pillow cases, no special stitching, as similar we could get to his old one. He absolutely loved the thing. He still has this one and often requests when it needs a "bath".  The nonnie has changed, the name stays the same.  Maddex still has his first nonnie. His father was against this in the initial stages as he found it ridiculous for our kiddo to have a ratty blanket toted around everywhere Maddex went; he has now accepted the fact that Maddex loves his nonnie and it is here to stay. Carter's father never really cared if Carter had a nonnie or not. These lovies come with us pretty much everywhere; there are days they leave them home by choice. Either is fine with me, as long as they stay in the car, or at home when they go to school. If we happen to not have our loveys with, for example, a doctor appointment or long car ride, it turns into a whole meltdown with lots of crying; further down on my post I will list a few ways to save your sanity (and keep your kiddo from becoming upset) if they have a lovey left at home. Is it really necessary for my kiddo to have a lovie? I would say as a parent that is your choice; some kiddos take to a certain stuffed animal, blanket, or other toy and it becomes a lovey. Other kiddos never have one and are just fine. It's up to you if you choose to let your kiddo have a lovey or not. Why do kiddos like these and carry them around? I find it helps my kiddos to have something soothing to get them through the boo-boos, the scary times, and falling asleep.  If your kiddo has a lovey, or you would like to know what I do with our nonnies, see below:: Buy an extra one: As I stated above, Maddex has a couple nonnies and could care less which one he currently has with him. Carter on the other hand, has a specific pillow case he loves, and will not take to another type of lovey, even if it is a similar pillowcase. Due to that, we have an extra. Also, if your kiddo happens to lose one or you really need to wash the darn thing and cannot sneak it away after bedtime, it is convenient to have an extra. So, you may be thinking, but what if I only have one and cannot find another? Well, that happens. Maybe you will get lucky and can get something similar, your kiddo may be fine with it. If not, you can always try to sneak it away at bedtime, or just wash it when your kiddo is at school or with family. Believe me, we have went through many nonnies, which was a hard transition. However, after that transition from a tattered fitted crib sheet to a pillowcase, everything was fine. Switch it out frequently (if possible):  I switch Carter's out with the same exact pillowcase (luckily they usually come in a two pack anyway) so they look the same and he cannot tell the difference. These things get dirty from being dragged all around, stinky from whatever may get on them, or stained, and need washing frequently. I usually wash our nonnies once a week with the linens.  Set rules for your kiddo on their lovey: Who wants to lose one of these, right? As I have stated above, our nonnies are not allowed out of the car or when visiting family. (my mother is an exception to this rule as for years she watched the kiddos while I worked, and now it's just became habit to bring it to Grandma's house) With that being said, I do have an exception to this rule; they are allowed their nonnie for appointments (vaccinations can be scary even for us, right?), IEP meetings, long car rides, and vacations. My kiddos have accepted that once a week they must turn their nonnie in for washing; Maddex usually just throws his in the washer before I even get to washing anything. Carter is usually pretty reluctant, but will hand it over after he loves it up a bit and says goodbye. (he also does this every morning before school, it's pretty cute) I do not allow nonnies at the dinner table or the bathroom - this prevents a lot of messes to their loveys and stains.  A little about my week so far It's been a productive week, I'll say that; I would like to get more done, however, as I have stated in a previous post, we can't do it all at once. And that is okay - little deal, not a big deal. I am finally figuring out a cleaning schedule, which I may just print out and hang up on my bulletin board for a reminder. **Pinterest has loads of these upon searching for them, some are even printable already. As we are cutting down on our grocery bill, (which per month is more than our rent - I know, I can't believe it either) Andy and I are going to the store together. Usually I go by myself, until now. Everything going forward needs approval (I found this one funny, but I do see Andy's point) before it goes in the cart. We have switched from boxes of muffins and cakes to home-baked treats. Also, we are stocking up on meat and freezing it as the bigger packages save money. I got yelled at for buying my face cream (as I am sure many of you mommas out there know, anti-wrinkle creams are expensive! Even the generic ones!) We were able to get a bulk-sized box of toilet paper from Andy's work (he works at a mill which produces some paper products along with other supplies) which paid for itself within the first month. Granted, it isn't the best quality, however, I am probably the only one in our house who cares if it's two ply premium TP.  I am back at the gym, finally. I was stuck in a rut for a week and a half where I just didn't feel like doing much of anything; including leaving the house, running errands, and going to the gym. My trainer was upset about this, and threatened me with burpees if I did not get back on track with my training. (nothing like brutal workouts to bring out the motivation) I think this was probably due to the loss of my job (over a month ago now) and I was still not over it; it felt like breaking up with a boyfriend. That job was my baby and I sacrificed a lot of time with my kiddos to stay devoted to my work. When they let me go it was via mail, and I still haven't filed that letter away. Now that I am feeling better, I should really do that..I need to get back into posting more as it gives me an outlet and I really enjoy it. The food aversions are back! As I mentioned, Andy wants to cut down on the food and go for a more frugal approach; this leads to casserole (I don't even care for that), more vegetables (that is still a power struggle with Maddex, unless it's pickles. Is that even a vegetable really? They eat them like mad.) Luckily, the kiddos enjoy **Crystal Light instead of juice, which is a lot cheaper and cuts down on the sugar. They do not mind the baking though! Which is always nice 😋 I finally have some "me" time during the day (as Maddex is in preschool half days and naps shortly afterward) which is nice. Also, since I have finished a few books of research I was digging into, now I have time to read all my magazines. I am not sure how this happened, or if someone signed me up for a free magazine subscription, but I get **Allure, **Glamour, and **Vanity magazines at least once a month. I enjoy the articles and fashion looks while working on my cardio at the gym. The kiddos are happy the weather is changing, and loved playing outside at Grandma's yesterday evening. Afterward, there was a scraped knee and elbow - I haven't seen any boo-boos really since fall. There has been some push-back with school from both kiddos; both coming and going. I am not sure why at this point, we did have a few snow days this month so that could have something to do with it..the weather could also be a factor. Who wants to go to school when the park is so much fun? Things are getting better this week, as I mentioned with Self Care, routine is important. Above I have shown an example of why that is the case. I had to laugh, Maddex just said to me, "Mom are you working on your 'log'?" (he means blog ha ha!) My closing thoughts It's okay for your kiddo to have a lovey, or not if they choose so, or if you do. I am not sure what is in store for the nonnies going forward, my kiddos can hold onto them until they are ready to let them go. I feel great since I'm back on track! I hope my information and tips on lovies helps parents out there who are in the same boat, or just curious on what in the heck is the security blanket even for. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed my post! Follow me on social media for updates on new posts 😸 **Disclosure: Reviews of products & referenced links are not sponsored by any affiliates and are solely the opinion of the Author; these are strictly opinions and honest advice, which should not be considered consumer or health guidelines. The Autism Soup and/or The Author are not responsible for any injuries or damage due to procedures listed above. Please consult with your doctor in regards to health concerns.