Self care for the autism mommas

Self Care is Number One! Please refer all ** marks to Disclosure statement at the bottom of my post, also feel free to visit my Disclosure Page page on the bar on the right hand side of my blog. Links may be included in this post. Summary: This post is to identify and set guidelines for caring for yourself, and my thoughts on the subject. This post is just a personal post, and does include some examples of autism-related events, however, I have not included any autism strategies in this post. You can't pour from an empty cup Yes, I have said this time and time again in previous posts; taking care of yourself first is a hard rule to follow, and I can admit sometimes myself I have a difficult time not sitting down to take a break for a few minutes or following a decent sleep schedule when I could be cleaning. There are days I just want to skip brushing my hair or something similar because I am tired and there are days with Carter we have rough mornings.  Skipping a meal is also a big no-no. Isn't that selfish? Putting yourself first instead of the kiddos? Well, no.  Who is going to take care of your kiddo if you can't take care of yourself?  Below I have listed some guidelines I follow myself to keep my self care on track: Routine: this falls into the category of everything else I have listed below. Routines help you stay on track of taking care of yourself. Beauty / Personal Hygiene: By no means am I getting at wearing makeup or doing your nails; just the basics to keep yourself from looking a mess. Believe me, I've been there! There have been days I've skipped showers, left my hair in a tangled mess, went to bed without brushing my teeth - just to name a few. Having a morning and night time routine is very important. This also sets an example for your kiddo that taking care of yourself is necessary once they are more independent. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I had a hard time at first letting Carter shower himself, and now he can without any supervision or verbal cuing. He is seven years old now and to teach him what we do as an older kiddo, I set an example for him of self care by taking care of my hygiene needs as well. Appointments: Am I the only one that dreads going to the dentist? Or the doctor? Nothing like finding out you have cavities or some sort of health issue right? Even though it may be a real headache to go to the dentist for a filling, or have a blood draw, or go to the gynecologist, taking care of your health is just as equally important as the rest of self care. This can be more convenient if your kiddo sees the same providers you do; you can schedule all their appointments and yours while in the office. Once you get an appointment reminder for your kiddo, that can also be a reminder to keep yourself on track with appointments. I personally schedule both my kiddos for appointments back to back - and I do mine when they are in school. This saves me time with one trip to a provider for the kiddos, and then I don't have to call and try to schedule over the phone. (and all the crazy noise going on from the kiddos; with the tv going and two boys, sometimes things get pretty loud in here)  A good support system: Whether you reach out to a friend, relative, or your SO, it is important to have a few people to reach out to for support. I do not know how I would make it through each week without Andy or my mom. My best friend also has two kiddos (not on the spectrum) and we vent to each other about our scenarios with the kiddos. This includes the good and the bad, I enjoy hearing her stories about her kiddos doing crafts and holidays, not just the messes and bad haircut experiences. Do something you enjoy: This could be a hobby, or just a soak in the tub with a magazine. I'll admit, once the kiddos go to bed, I have fun playing **Minecraft. The little things that can cheer you up - sometimes it's things you would not even think of! For example, going for a walk or just window shopping. I also enjoy looking back at the kiddo's baby pictures. Brings a tear to my eye every time! (A happy tear) Laugh a little: Finding the humor in non-desired situations can really reduce the stress. When I found Maddex covered in permanent marker after I woke up this morning, I had to laugh; I thought to myself 'Is this his version of tattoos??' and then after that I drank some coffee before scrubbing the "tattoos" off my kiddo. Driving yourself nuts over those "Little Deals" is really not necessary. Although, Maddex is grounded from his tablet today and was reminded that drawing on yourself with a sharpie or any other marker is unacceptable behavior. Get a sitter and take some time off: Do not be too hard on yourself if you get a sitter and go on a date with your SO, or have a girl's night with your friends; we all need a break sometimes. If you can and your kiddo is on the spectrum, apply for and use respite. What's that you ask? A personal care worker, usually through the State, in which the worker watches your kiddo while you run errands for a few hours or any other activities you would like to do for some "momma time". Breathe!: Being too overwhelmed can lead to a lot of stress and it just snowballs down from there. Keep in mind you can get through the meltdown in the store, the IEP meeting, or any other event that is worrying you. Take a five minute break if you need to and come back to the issue at hand. I understand this probably won't happen at an IEP meeting or the grocery store, however, if you do happen to have a good team on board for the IEP, they may be more willing to work with you on that. And as for the grocery store - if it's too much you can always leave the store after the meltdown and go grocery shopping once you have a sitter. I will list a few strategies I use to deal with standing up to rude people in the community when meltdowns happen. I will speak up every time to people like this, and there is nothing wrong with that! Just keep your cool. 😇 As I said, more on that in a future post. What a week!! I have had a lot of mom duties to attend to this past week. Going forward, I am hoping to post 1 - 2 times a week. My apologies this is so late! I haven't posted for quite a while, 10 days in fact! Today was another snow day for the kiddos - this weekend we had a blizzard and there is quite a large amount of snow on the ground. Andy spent a half hour digging his car out today. This weekend I spent 2 hours commuting to get Maddex and bring him home. (he visits with his dad on the weekends) I literally had to drive 10 miles per hour through this blizzard. And also had to shovel - we haven't had enough snow to shovel in I believe 2 years! The roundabouts over here also do not help the driving conditions with the snow. I cannot believe during this 2 hour ordeal I saw 12 cars stuck in the snow. I also did get stuck twice, but I do pretty well with winter driving and was able to get out within a few minutes. More of the poop this weekend. (Did I mention how much I do not like this mess?) Both kiddos this weekend! Like what is going on here?? Carter enjoyed the **Minecraft pickaxe I made him last week. He pretends to be "mining" in a cave. I printed out a template, he cut it out, and we taped it to some cardboard from a cereal box. For **Minecraft printables, click here. I just use the search bar to find what I need rather than scrolling and clicking around the site - the home page is pictures of other paper crafts people have done, and are not the printables themselves. I would love to take the kiddos outside now to the huge snow pile near our driveway, however, it is pretty cold outside. As Carter is not sensitive to the cold temperature, I try to keep him inside when it gets too cold outside. If I were to take him outside today, I would not be able to get him back in. That's a meltdown I would like to avoid! We do have a sledding hill about 10 minutes away, hoping sometime this week to take the kiddos - maybe even next weekend. Maddex now has homework from his teacher she would like me to work on with him. He's in preschool so I feel that's a bit much for a four year old, but we will give it a shot. She gave me his homework Friday and we have not started it yet. Maybe I've caught the procrastinating bug?? I was happy to be treated to a nice steak dinner by my SO. 😘 That was so nice! My closing thoughts Yes, we all get stressed as parents and have moments we lose our cool. Myself included! Taking care of yourself is necessary to care for your kiddo. Do not feel ashamed for getting a sitter to take a spa day for example. By no means am I suggesting NOT caring for your kiddo, however, a few hours off from parenting a week can greatly help you stay sane! As always, I have included some events from this weekend with my family also. I hope you enjoyed this post! Follow me on social media and leave a comment on topics you would like to see on my blog! Subscribe to get notifications on my new posts as they come along! 😸 **Disclosure: Reviews of products & referenced links are not sponsored by any affiliates and are solely the opinion of the Author; these are strictly opinions and honest advice, which should not be considered consumer or health guidelines. The Autism Soup and/or The Author are not responsible for any injuries or damage due to procedures listed above. Please consult with your doctor in regards to health concerns.